Awesomesauce: The First Elsabee and Johnny Tale
by Hatsoff343
Summary: Elsabee Merryweather is the only known half-human half-siren in Haven City since the Magic Shift 23 years ago. Because of this, she's forced to sit through various legal disputes between the sirens and humans. So this second rank of Haven City's Mercenary Guild does a lot of odd jobs, no matter how dangerous, just to get away, even if it means making the hot 1st rank Johnny worry.


"_Drat_," Elsabee swore under her breath, pushing herself to never lose her speed as she kept up her roof-hopping pace. She just wished some of these crumpled and deserted houses _had_ roofs so she didn't have to worry about pulling a muscle as she ran for her life.  
Yeah, that would be nice.  
Sliding down a slanting housetop, one of the many that reeked of inhumanity's abandon in the Backyards since the Shift, she could hear the wet snarls of the Gorgons. And they were _gaining_.  
"_Elsabee, are you there? It's getting testy here in town and the humans are sprouting word of retaliation...again. What is your position?_" the communicator crackled with static on her wrist, sending tiny electrical sparks flying around her.  
This is the exact reason why she refused to put on the earpiece applicator.  
"Johnny!" she yelled, ducking under rusty plumbing pipes and around caving walls of the abandoned neighborhood, "I've got fifteen gorgons chasing me with a hankering for a new garden statue and I'm _really_ not in the mood to hear of human ralliers. I'm about 273 blocks from city lines. You think you could hold them off til then?"  
The humans and the Sirens have been at each other's throats since one of them lured the President's middle son to water a few weeks after the Magic Shift. It was a both a huge loss and a scandal as both the son and the siren chose to die in each other's arms to escape. Elsabee saw no point in the bickering now after all of these years, and still grew bitter when she was brought to court to solve minor disputes.  
It was times like those that made her wish she wasn't Halfin. Half Siren, half human.  
So she would take any odd jobs outside of city limits she could just to get away, no matter how dangerous.  
"_Gorgons?! Heavenly father, Elsabee! I thought the mission was to purchase some stoning counteractant in the _Ancient_ region, what on earth were you doing in the_ Backyards_?!_" Same old Johnny, she thought on a sigh, calm as a tiger-shifter should be but once trouble spells, the claws come out and the worry piles on.  
Heavy.  
"Some blockheaded juggernaut totaled Sarah's place. She's in shambles, but told me the only other place to get it was from the very creatures one'd use it against. When they told my '_disgusting Halfin fishlegs_' to eff off, I kindly informed them to shed a few skins so that maybe a guy would _look_ at them before turning to stone in disgust-"  
"_I heard that you Halfined b!tch! We'll have you skinned with your innards on a platter for _supper_!_"  
Crap. A gorgon dressed in blue struck down from the ceiling to her left, causing her to unsheathe her glowing sword, Mikey, and let him cut through the slimy skin until the thing could speak no more. Two more descended on her from opposite sides. Crouching low, Elsabee pushed off her right foot into a mid-air spin, slicing both jugulars of the creatures with her sword as she tried to survey the distance of the others. The two gorgon heads rolled to the floor mere feet away from their twitching bodies.  
Great. Not only was there a crack in her specialized glasses, but she was covered in Gorgon blood with the rest a couple minutes away and gaining. These three must've been their fastest.  
Grabbing the two heads carefully in her hands so they faced away from one another, Elsabee sprinted like mad for the city limits, dodging debris, which thinned out more than it did deeper in the Backyards.  
Once she saw the glowing orange lines signaling a magic ward, she grinned, shouting to the translucent wall, "Elsabee Merryweather, Second Rank of the Mercenary Guild of Haven City, requesting single entry! _Now_!" She felt the magic crackle as the ward opened enough to let her through, locking the gorgons out, but oh, did she keep running! Not until she was well past the town hall and its testy gathering of protestors trying to be soothed by the ever sensible and extremely handsome Johnny Bane, who recognized her in an instant as she dashed through, straight to the Guild's lab did she stop to rest.  
Setting down the heads she extracted snake venom from their hair, adding it to an enchanted wooden bowl full of distilled lichen's blood, permeated unicorn saliva, sorrowful vampire tears, grated phoenix feathers, and a dash of pixie dust. Hurriedly, she took her granite pestle, grinding and mixing the concoction together until it started to form a foul-smelling odor and glowed an ominous sea green.  
"Would you mind telling me why exactly you decided to risky your _life_ for a couple of-oh _good God! _What _is_ that_?!_" Johnny, who had walked in from the doorway, covered his nose and grit his now growing fangs. She could see his green eyes melding into a strong and powerful gold. That of a predator.  
"As much as I'd _love_ to see you go all furry with your fury and worry," she added a few small white pills, causing the mixture to secrete red smoke, "We've got a dispute to settle and some overgrown snakes slithering around the perimeter looking for their supper." Carefully she transferred the paste into two silicon-lined velvet bags that were fastened to the utility belt on her waist, next to her knives. Then she gave Johnny a swift kiss on the cheek, "Now let's get a move on."  
They made a deliberate move to walk through the town hall crowd so everyone would both recognize and follow them. Elsabee stopped when they reached the city limits ward, slithering with gorgons wanting blood, and turned towards the people, lifting up one of the bags.  
"I don't get your reason for finding excuses to debate every day, but, unless it's a life or death matter, don't bother my work time or else this could be you." Taking a small amount of the smoking paste, she rolled it into a ball, whispered sweet enchanting words, as was taught, and threw it past the ward.  
A blinding light erupted with a blast so loud that everyone had to cover their ears. Once the smoke cleared, there was a pile of unconscious gorgons and nothing else. The whole place past it was leveled.  
"Antihistamine? Really?" Johnny whispered in her ear. Normally the paste wouldn't leave survivors.  
"What? You got a better idea for dodging those dang Haven creature-protection protesters?"  
He shrugged. _That's what I thought._  
"…w-What the hell _was_ that?" someone said behind her.  
Elsabee smiled, "That, ladies and gentlemen, was an ancient family recipe for angel hair pasta. Used to do a heck of a toll to your digestion. I modified it into a simple sauce-like substance. You can call it Awesomesauce."  
"Now," She said, flashing them one of her most innocent smiles, "are there any objections?"


End file.
